The new year has gotten off to a fairly rough start.

My roommate managed to bring home a very nasty illness which she and I both ended up getting and dealing with. While I am on the mend now and feeling much better than I was in the first few days of the year, thanks to the illness I had to put some of my resolutions on hold rather than embracing them with the gusto that I had anticipated. This was mainly due to a complete lack of energy or ability to get out of bed. In fact, I did little except sleep.

Once I started getting better over the weekend after enjoying a movie with my husband on our computer, I was excited about getting back to work on the website business and getting it up and running. I have some final touches to put on. Monday, I took my husband to work and came home to find that the computer was practically dead in the water. In fact, even as I write this, it will not run in anything other than safe-mode.  So working on the site was out of the question. In fact, my intenet is iffy at best. So rather than get frustrated with continually losing my work on the site, we're putting the computer in the shop and hoping for the best.

Worst case scenario, we end up buying a new computer though. And fortunately my mother has a spare to loan me while we're having ours worked on.

Being back up to par, I'm mulling over some new novel ideas. It is a year of change for me. In fact, I'm considering finding an editor to work with on my projects. Perhaps a "book doctor" or a "writing coach". Ultimately, I think I've been lacking in moral support over the course of the past year.

Starting "The Artist's Way" for the umpteenth time in my life, I find that the process if just as pertinent now as it was more than ten years ago when I was first introduced to the book by a former editor.

When we don't continually work with the blockages and allow ourselves to slip into the same sort of blocked consciousness it is unbelievable how difficult it can be to work through them again to get to the heart of the creative process.

It is a largely spiritual journey. That is something that many people overlook. It is a journey that I'm quite excited about taking once again. I have missed the creative side of my life. There  have been other outlets like sewing, web design, and even scrapbooking but nothing quite like the writing. None of those are quite as rewarding for me as the writing. So I'm looking forward to getting my work out to the public at large again. In fact, I'm thinking seriously about offering some of my work via the web for free as opposed to getting so focused on publishing for money again.

We'll just have to see how the year plays out.

Tonight I'm sitting here at a different computer. My computer crashed last week. It is currently in the shop. We're going to have it back this weekend, but that puts all of my business plans on hold for another week. It is a set back that we wish we could have avoided. We had high asperations for this project, we still do, but it seems that we'll have to wait.

I find myself thinking about many things lately. My perception of things has altered somewhat over the past couple years. I'd like to think I've become more "down to earth" as a result of all of this change. However, some might think that I've become increasingly lofty in my thinking which would be quite the contrary to how I see it.

Interestingly enough I was sitting down with our local study group when I realized just how different my view of the world has become.

I used to be very nature based in my spirituality. I was learning and I tried to ascribe to a more shamanic and wicca based spritual approach to life. However, I have come to find that this no longer suits my personal connection with spiritual entities and it doesn't allow me the tools that I need to work through the spiritual issues that have been set before me.

My view of divinity has shifted from a "god" & "goddess" view to more of divinity being a universal energy that flows in all things. It is a more connected approach.

Point of fact, I have never been comfortable with asking a diety to intercede on my behalf. I don't like the idea of my fate being at the hands of others, even if they are considered of divine origin. However, I have not quite mastered how I am supposed to acheive a state of being that would allow me to act on my own behalf.

Do not mistake me. I see divine energy in all things. I feel it and I know that it is there to be tapped into and communicated with. However, I find myself somewhat perplexed by many things lately. For me it leads to a more spiritual approach, perhaps a more metaphysical one pertaining to the concept of transcendence or ascention rather than that of a simple passing. It seems to me that there is more to this life and that we should be striving for more. Perhaps seeking to attain some sort of perfection in and of our own person.

Or perhaps I'm just raving mad. Either way it is food for thought tonight and I'm sure that it will be lingering on for many weeks and months to come. It is an issue that is not easily resolved after all.